For Indian husbands..regarding money how do u handle it? -

My husband earns three times the amount that i do and is now keeping his money separately. I also discovered he had a hidden bank account in his name only. I am not after his money but I am frustrated that when he has such huge piles of money he is questioning every expense which I am already doing my level best to restrict expenses. Yet I am seeing huge withdrawals from his accounts and not knowing where that money is going. For married people, how would you handle this? Do you let the husband simply control the money and the wife s money also, or do you feel everything should be in an account in both names? Husbands out there - do you feel bad about your wife if she earns less money? Am I being unreasonable by wanting a shared bank account? I am not after his money but I do not like the constant reminder that he earns more money than me and I am trying to find a way to solve this issue... Plz share your opinions with me and thanks! |::::|Look Dear please trust on your husband because if he doesn t tell you something that s not mean that he cheat you. as i said very earlier. give him time because i hope he is going to planning for future that s why he doesn t tell you anything about that bank account. because the same case happen with me. so i can tell you that wait till he said to you about that. if you both really love each others than i am sure there is no problem ahead in yours life.and stop this nonsense do not keep eye on your husband bank account its indicate your lake of trust on your husband. so please do not let that happen again if don t want to lost your husband s trust on you. because when he know that you are going to make inquiry of his personally what he thought about you I hope you can understand what i m trying to say. wait for a day when he comes to you and tell you everything and i m sure he will do that. Never break relationship on such stupid base assumptions of your life . if he is not going to change is self try to change your self according him. than life become easy. I hope its enough for you because after all you have your mind for thinking and make Interpretation. Bye. All the best|::::|He is probably making huge withdrawals and giving the money to his parents, it s quite common...|::::|You lived within your means before marrying him, so it should not matter now. By push to have access to all the money you do come accross as being interested in his money.|::::|just get out|::::|Yeh dear even i found it fishy abt the withdrawl...i am married for 4 yrs and dont share the acc with my hubby neither he does...both of us we ar enot knowing abt the money incoming and outgoing expenses of each other ...i know this is kind of very wrong but need to stand on our own grounds for our good..the best thing here wud be to show off his position and ask him to stay off of ur account...no need to share him with the pwd and all...i kno w all of a sudden it wud be shock for him...but if u want ur future to be secured u need to go for it...and do stick on ur words of not havin gbaby until he stops spending ur money...as far the withdrawl is concerned it might be the loan taken up or even giving off to parents relatives or house or even other XYZ lady whose name u wud never like to hear it...ask him to show up his balance and all other balances if he has (practically he will never reveal, but give it a try) i am not asking u to go against him but against the odds which might come as a surprise to u in a bad manner so be careful and save ur money for ur future...mind it ,nothing comes in front of money if love is not with u...|::::|If any relationship is standing on the grounds of MONEY then it is never to be called a sincere or selfless love/marriage/relation. It is the right of both the married partners to know the activities of each other. If any one is denying it means either there is not committed to the relation or he is indulge in any unsocial activity. As regard as of bank account, the joint name is really necessary to avoid futur problems. Before coming to any conclusion the foremost think you flush out of your mind that who is earning more and who is earning less; now request your husband that you want to talk to him on a serious subject when he can sit and can give some time. Now with your calm but firm voice you discuss these issues with him and by the grace of GOD you may get answers of all the queries and it may be possible he must be investing that money in some project and want to give you a surprise. But if it is not so then you should be cautious at this stage and think some alternate.|::::|i don t get to handle it. it is by and large mishandled whether i handle it or my spouse. there are always leaks. being aware of such leaks,permitting such leaks/trickles and not showing awareness of such leaks is being pragmatic. when exactly to put your foot down should be your own decision. if a similar question was posted by your husband,what would be your answer? they say way to hell is laid with best of the intentions - one way or the other it will be so. 17:00hrs. if what Pundit PUG has said (He is probably making huge withdrawals and giving the money to his parents, it s quite common ) is the reason,then such situation doesn t reflect well on ? though that is still just a possibility. *|::::|I m an indian, and a husband. For years now my wife has stayed at home to raise our kids, and consequently she could not work. It is my endeavor now to find her a job. I d actually be happy if she earned more than me ! But maybe in the long run i d feel a bit insecure if she did! There s nothing wrong in your wanting a shared account. But that cannot be forced, as you well know. The large withdrawals are cause for concern.Have you talked to him yet about this? What does he say? Getting out of the marriage nowadays is the easy option.It takes commitment to hang in there and make him change his ways. It ll take years of commitment. Nobody wants to do that these days!|::::|see i m not married but still i can tell some about man s mentality. 1st thing, dont just jump into decision, try to figure out where ur husband is using money, it may be that he s investing it in mutual funds, shares or policy for the future of ur family. try to talk to him about it, the shortest distance between two ppl is conversation. He may not tell u at first, there re ways to talk..... u find 1 which can help u to know him better.try to find what he s planning for future. u can intiate this topic so he can know that u ve interest in it. 2nd if u really find anything fishy, straight away tell him, again dont make an issue.. dont juat blow things.. take it easy coz ur whole life depends upon it... tell him wat u feel abt this money matter between husband and wife.... and i tell u personally, man feel bad if his wife s is earning more than him..... it hurts their self respect kinda.... ur earning less can only means that he s taking u for granted.... or he s not finding u sincere enuf that u can handle the money matter... all u hav to do is convince ur hubby that u re sincere enuf to handle it.... how u going to do this i dont know... its ur call...... i ll be happy if this can help u bit. |::::|your husband considers money more important then happy life,, he needs to marry my wife....my wife was housewife visited her parents almost every year, 2X india and 3 X to her sister still she thinks it was necessary, i added her name to every account i had the very next day i married but when she started earning money she wanted separate account and did not bother to give me proper expense of tons of my money her sister handled in india...if you don;t have kids walk out right now of this marriage....if u do talk to him and seek marriage counseling|::::|Get out of the marriage, he is using money to control you. I m not Indian but I am a female and I do all the budgeting and take care of the bills in a shared bank account, we both work, I am just better with saving money and alloting where it should go. I make a bit more but that doesn t matter I do not restrict my man by counting every single dime and neither does he me. You need to be able to stand on your own two feet and learn how to take care of your own money, there s nothing wrong with a wife letting her husband or a husband letting his wife do the banking but there should be no restrictions (within reason of course - if you re talking about a withdrawal of like $5000 a day then yeah... that s a bit much!)