Can someone help me revise my paragraph? -

I am a freshman, and we re reading short stories. We re on quot;A Man Who Had No Eyesquot; and we had to write a paragraph on it, one in which someone other than me revised and one not. This is mine if someone can help me revise it: Even though both Mr. Parson and Markwardt are blind, Markwardt is the man who has no eyes. You would think that if you were in a chemical explosion, you’d be thankful you were still alive. Apparently not Markwardt, who uses his disabilities as an advantage to trick people into giving him money. So when Markwardt approached Mr. Parson, he attempted to use his greedy and sneaky ways to earn money, not knowing Mr. Parson was in the same incident in the past. While Markwardt is unappreciative, Mr. Parson is the opposite, being respected as a successful worker. Markwardt is a beggar btw. And our paragraph has to have 5 sentences. If someone can help me restate the last sentence that would be great! But thank you for helping me. |::::|try quot;Markwardt is the only one that does not have eyesquot; instead in the first sentence. other than that, youve done a good job, and you write better than most 20 year olds i know :)|::::|youre welcome! good luck! youre a great writer, keep it up Report Abuse