We pay but have no say child support paid but no visitation? -

How can people who have nothing to do with you take our hard earned money, child support. Ex wives that dont send our kids for court ordered visitation, and kids that won t visit. With a court system that wont do anything about it? How can they support this gluttenous behavior. What a joke. Why dont courts support us dads with contempt of visitation anymore. Dont ask if I m fit please. I have court ordered weekends and two nights a week.|::::|For 20 years I ve worked with divorced and single fathers, so this is going to be long. Part of the problem with getting visitation enforced is knowing what to do to prove your case, and how to remind the judge of their responsibilities. Let me start with the judge. Always take people with you to court who are not there to testify. Make sure they are sitting where the judge can see the, with each equipped with a tablet and pen to take notes. Better yet, use a Court Watch Form designed for this purpose. I have one in the manual at dads house. If the judge is not doing his job, using the info from this form can be used to get him/her removed or sanctioned. There are things you can be doing. Most important you need to keep a daily journal on all your activities. There does not need to be any violence for a claim of violence to be filed. She gets a restraining order because she fears him because she has been preventing him from seeing her child. Many think that all courts are rigged against dads, but in reality, it is more about attorneys unwilling or lack the knowledge to truly fight for the father s rights. This is why it is important to learn how to interview and hire the right attorney. It is also important to do as much as possible on his own and not pay the attorney to do it. Always go pick up the kids whether you think you are going to get them or not. Write her a letter notifying her of intent to exercise court ordered visitation rights. Make two copies, and sign all three. Mail two of them, one certified and one with Delivery Confirmation (75￠ + postage). If she rejects the one, she still receives the other. If the certified letter come back, file it unopened. By use of an internet connection, you can print out the Confirmation of Delivery of the other letter. http://www.usps.com/send/waystosendmail/... Show up with witnesses in tow. Do not enter her place alone. If you can record, have someone video record from the car. Check the site below to see if it is illegal to record audio and/or video without the woman knowing. If her state does not have a law either way, than it defaults to the federal ruling, which says one person in a conversation, must know they are being recorded. In Missouri, it is specifically legal, while in Kansas there is no mention either way. With two different states, if one has a law against it, than it applies only when the call originates from that state. http://www.rcfp.org/taping/ Now, you can’t just record, you also have to transcribe the conversations your daily journal. One complaint is that the kids won’t come, but that is like to be a symptom of Parental Alienation Syndrome. http://www.parentalalienation.org/ If you want to learn how to do all this, go to Dads House in Yahoo Groups. There is an educational manual in the file section that can teach you what you need to know. The organization it came from is defunct due to attorneys that tried to take it over and make money from it. Take the time to learn what you can and should do. http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Dad... Also, check out: http://www.glennsacks.com|::::|Unfortunately the court does not care if there is visitation.They care about establishing support so the single mom can t get public assistance and the state have to foot the bill.It s harsh don t blame me but that s the answer to your question|::::|If you have court ordered visitation go get your kids, what are you waiting for?|::::|Take her back to court and get them to remind her of the terms.|::::|Don t get mad, it does not help. The best thing to do is find out through the family courts where your case is being heard how to have the court order enforced. You should do the best to document every single thing that you do to have a relationship with your children. I know that even when you do everything possible it seems that no matter what the courts , the system, everyone else is against you. One thing that they cannot take away is your self respect. DO NOT stop speaking with your kids, DO NOT say anything bad about their mother. No matter what she has done, let them see and learn from you that you can be the HERO in their lives. It takes work, I learned the hard way. Remember these things, LEARN AND WORK WITHIN THE COURTS. Learn the rules and play by them. Once you learn how the system works, the better off you will be. Learn that you will not win every time, learn to be a better parent. And when things do go your way be HUMBLE, do not brag. Never give up, your children are worth it. You will have bad days and become tired of the system. REMEMBER WHO ARE, WHERE YOU COME FROM, AND THAT YOUR KIDS AND FAMILY LOVE YOU. And if you are remarried give your new and better wife the attention she needs too, it cannot just be about your kids. Remember she needs you too and you need to let her know that she means everythng to you. DO NOT make the mistakes I have made, don t find yourself alone with no support. Try your best to balance your life, everyone around YOU will be better for it. YOU CAN AND WILL DO THIS.