I planned my future around him, now Iamp;#39;m distraught? -

My fiance split up with me on christmas eve. The thing is, I planned my future on him. I left college so I could help earn money for the house that he has which I was going to move into n coz he didnt want me to go away to uni, n now I cant go back to college and I am stuck with a crappy part time job. I was planning on marriage n babies, n lookin after the house. Now that has been dashed n I am lost. Help?|::::|Hey Just Me X That must have been terrible, and obviously made a time of celebration become a time of great heartache. and Im sorry, i really am. Now don t take this the wrong way, your 20 and your life is ahead of you, but at least this thing happend before you d tied the knot and things get awkward. (Having said that, I ve written this and perhaps you ll get back with your partner and everything will be ok....but from the way you ve described everything, that doesn t seem likely.) So your question really opens up the big thing on life, what to do next? Therein lies your 1st hurdle; as your plans are totally focussed still on what you wanted but know can t have: you said so yourself. So- 1st hurdle find something that interests you outside your job....something fun. (and I mean fun....I like writing....probably like talking too, from the looks of it, i ve certainly got alot to say.....) Take one day at a time. Lots of things can happen in life....Your 20!!!! There s so much potential there. OK; so I m not telling you to forget about this guy immediatly....we re only human, right? So...first thing: friends. This is probably the time you want to talk to friends right? So perhaps some nice evenings out, cinema, bowling....silly little things people do for a giggle.... met one guy who liked to sing infront of the mirror....well he was a very boring man....don t talk to him anymore.... So, now onto your education. Why are you putting this barrier infront of you? Because that s all that is, a barrier. Like a massive roadblock! And our minds and fears put them up to try and stop us from getting anywhere. Like when you don t want to phone someone or fill in pieces of paper because it s seems too difficult or too frightening... (it s only paper after all) Education is very important you can get through this. As I have no idead who you really are and what you do ....I can t help how to get back to your course. But talk to your course leader....talk to local officals. But perhaps money is the problem..... You are not happy in your job...however you seem like you were sticking it out to supply your future.....Wellllll you d be doing the same. if you need it that is. Do you really want to be saying in 10 years time when you will be in a job that your hating that you didn t try? I want you to be happy! Really do. That s bizarre isn t it, but you obviously want to be happy, so why can t you be? You can t because you ve been through hell. It will get better, believe me. I keep saying your 20..(not being age-ist) But let s face it....being a woman you have the potential of living up to 100! What with medicine these days....with that in mind you ve got another 80 years left, four times what you ve had already........that is long! Imagine what you can achieve in that time. I ve no doubt that you re gonna find someone better! Someone who really deserves you. Don t let this thing drag you down so far that you can t get back up. PLANS!!!! that s what i was going to say... life doesn t really work by planning. Doesn t like it, you know why? Plans are BORiNG. It s true... Chaos is quite exciting and horrible at the same time. (I m not enciting chaos, i promise) But when you plan for something, life can throw you a curve ball...as you ve had to find out. I m really sorry JMX....HOWEVER because of this life has the oppertuinity to throw you GREAT THINGS. Ok, this guy has left you high and dry now.....but maybe it just wasn t meant to be...because there is someone better just round the corner waiting for you...(do not take literally....sounds a bit like a stalker really...but seriously plenty more fish in sea, etc) So, here to my summary. Just stay in there, don t let this incident keep your heart broken forever and use this an oppertunity to show life exactly what you were made for. You ll find someone. someone who ll make you happy, who ll you get to marry and have kids with....but with those 80years you have left...perhaps you ll want to spend some more time for yourself! (You ve only been an official adult for 2 years.....I m telling you, so much potential.) Live for life, don t dwell in things that bring you down. The only way is up. Anyway, this is me rambling off on one. This is where you have a real choice. You can listen to me and the others on this thing and take advice, or you can do what you think is right for yourself. Either way is great, it s fine. Because the only person who can and will get you better is you. And this is gonna be hard...it s going to hurt and it s going to be difficult. But you can get through this. You can. The world is yours JMX. Take care, good luck, and a great big hug. Lifelike :)|::::|Ok don t say that you can t go back to college, PLEASE don t have that mentality. Do you want to pay your dues for the rest of your life with jobs like that (that won t like) or do you want to pay them in college?|::::|I started the college when i was 26. You can always start over! Live your life and dont get too dependent. it is only your life!