What is my brotheramp;#39;s and Mumamp;#39;s problem? -

He has 2 jobs, and his wife has 1, they earn more money than my Dad does, yet my brother is always ringing me or him asking to borrow money. He uses my nephews as an excuse to try and get money, saying that they need nappies or they are hungry. It s ridiculous, after he asked me once, I went over his house with my Dad, when he went to look for the kids ( he leaves them to their own devices when they are 2 and 4) I looked in their cupboards, and lo and behold they had loads of food, and there were nappies in the bottom cupboards. My brother has a drug problem, even though he swears he doesn t, and when we used to fall for his rubbish, he would spend the money by sticking it up his nose. If I don t lend him money he says he s depressed, or I m spoilt, or makes up a little story about how my Dad used to beat him, which is total rubbish. Also, he falls asleep on the sofa after smoking too much weed and lets his kids run about the house doing what ever they want to, when I ve found him in this state, the littlest boy is crying in another room with a full nappy and the eldest is trashing everything. The eldest one has said that he quot;doesn t like his daddyquot;, and I know my brother has anger problems, and sometimes slaps the eldest boy too hard or shous far too much, he s even hit his wife. My Mum is just as bad, she always asks me to lend her money, which I never do, for her or my brother, as know I probably won t see it again. If I say anything negative about my brother, she goes mental at me, it s like he can do no wrong, even though he lets his own toddlers do whatever the hell they want! Also, my parents are divorced, and my Dad says my Mum has a drug problem too, I know her ex boyfriend did, but I don t know if she does. What should I do? I m so confused about all of this.|::::|Your brother and mum will not go to rehab unless they are good and ready to get clean. You are already doing what you should do. You don t give them money, so you don t feed into their habits. That s wonderful! Good for you for not enabling them to continue in their destructive behaviours! Go to a therapist so you can get encouragement to continue in your efforts. It can get very tiring and it makes you feel bad about yourself when they get angry at you and lash out. If you can vent to a therapist and get feedback, that will help a lot. Don t vent to your mum about your brother anymore, and vice versa. I would just distance myself a bit from them both. It s good to have healthy boundaries. Pray for your brother and his family. Distance yourself if you have to, but try to remain a positive influence in your nephews lives. Things will not change in that household until your brother is ready to get clean. You can t make that happen, nor can anyone else but your brother. Good luck and pray hard!!|::::|Bring your brother to rehab And bring your mom into rehab too|::::|I would have serious concerns about his capacity as a parent. Maybe the best thing is to inform the child services people. I know, I know, you don t want to rat him out but consider it an intervention. It can be done anonymously. Another option is to speak with a professional counsellor, anonymously. The wellbeing of the children is of importance here and keep your money in your pocket!|::::|i would suggest u dont lend them either money and its as simple as that just let them both know they are grown and they can support their own habits its not ur responsibility to take care of them or ur brother s children..as far as the children go has ur dad considered looking into taking them away from ur brother doesnt sound like he can take care of himself let alone toddlers