I feel hopeless and i feel like i wan to die but i canamp;#39;t die yet because my mother needs me...? -

I m 23 years old and i feel hopeless in my life. I m from a poor family but i got a loving mother that cares about me. So, deep in my heart i swear that i will work work and work hard to earn money to provide a better life for my mother. Recently, i found out that i got a kidney disease and i dare not tell anyone. I don t have money to find a doctor. Beside that, there are a lot of problems tat i m facing with and i don t think i m afford to provide my mother a better life. Deep in my heart i suffer so much but i really want to give my mother a better life... I feel that only death can solve my problems and end my suffering life but i still have a pity mother in this cruel world...|::::|Face reality !! only stupid people and weak people wanted to die. be grateful that you are being alive... every human have their own problem even the richest and happiest person you ever see, heard, met, have a problem in their life. my suggestion, try to tell the truth. it not like to tell them to pity on you, but help you with something to come out with. share with them try to find someone to talk with try your uni or college conselor, if you are in religion community, they ussualy have one too. if you cant, try talk with your best friend. they will help n cheer you.|::::|Look i want to do all of that too, i think that is the most sweetest thing. this is the hardest question i had to answer, what i would do is first come clean with everything. just spill it all, let it ALL out.you would probably would want to do that with your mom, and some other family too. being an adult is difficult especially in these times. i m terrified too, my friends mom she is a therapist and last month her pay check was garnished. she was supposed to get $1200 just to get all her stuff paid, and buy groceries and gifts, they only gave her $600 left to pay her phone bills, her car payment, her house, her heating, everything you can imagine. o yeah and there family only has 1 income because she is the only one my friends got. i give the most i can give to her.its pretty much just $4 or $5 at a time. i think mostly you need to come clean with you mom with you condition, and how you feel, than you can Focus on helping her. along with keeping up with you self. i hope you 2009 is way better than 2008!!|::::|i think what your mother would really want is just for you to be with her, be there for her. let her know u care and you love her. i think she would want you to take care of your heath problem first and worry about her later. im sure she loves you very much and u probably mean a great deal to her. so you should just hang in there for her|::::|Please see a counselor. There are usually options for people with low incomes. No one deserves to suffer from depression. You DO have an obligation to continue living. You need to make the best of it. Please speak to your doctor or contact social services to see what agency in your area offers free counseling services.|::::|death is the a slolution to nothing infact it will creat more problems for your mum! work hard and see a doctor , then you can work hard and give your mum a queens life!